New Year's Eve 2018 is a time for celebration, anticipation, hope and yes, even reflection.
2018 brought intense sadness to those who had to say a final good-bye to a loved one and yet, extreme happiness and joy for others as they welcomed new additions into their home and heart.
For me, 2018 was a year of realization. Realization that time is passing fast and the hopes, dreams and resolutions from my past were never realized. While this may sound like gloom and doom, it really isn’t; you see, the best thing about realization is that it births recognition.
Realization is NOT a permanent state, nor is it a life sentence. Realization is simply a chance to make an intentional do-over, if you so desire or embark on a new path without fear or hesitation. Realization is simply recognizing the pitfalls of the past and refusing to allow history to repeat itself.
New Year's Eve is uneventful in my home, and uneventful is nice. Hot wings, movies and searching channels for a time zone that is an hour ahead allows me to stay awake and ring in the New Year.
I anticipate 2019 with cautious anticipation. I will make resolutions, but I will NOT look at them as a pass or fail kind of thing. My New Year Resolutions for 2019 will serve as a reminder to “get a move-on” and “take action”. I may or may not fully achieve every goal, but my 2019 Resolutions are not part of a fleeting wish list, but an intentional pursuit.
Realization, for me, is a strong motivator. I know I’m not getting younger and 2018 was quick to make that evident; therefore, I refuse to squander time and allow realization to make an encore appearance in 2020.
What does my 2019 look like?
To all of my family, friends, and co-workers, I wish you a heart filled Happy New Year and hope that all of your hopes and dreams are realized in 2019!
I love to dance, and back in the day, my friends and I would dance the night away at a variety of night spots throughout the city. Who can forget Funky’s, Williamsburg Inn, Gloria’s, Time Out and the Executive Inn Showroom?
Of course, there were many others. Test your memory and see how many of these popular places you can remember:
13th Hour, 3T’s, Alibi, Allen’s Lounge, Arc Lanes, Black Cat Tavern, Black Horse, Blue Note, Blue Parrot, Blue Skye Inn, Blush, Bob’s Lounge, Boogie Nights, Breakers, Bridgeview, Bullocks, Cactus Bobs, Captains Den, Club Paradise, Country Palace, Damien’s, Elliot’s, Dodge Inn, Dogtown Tavern, Duck Inn, East Quarter, Embers, Executive Inn Showroom Lounge, Fast Eddies, Filling Station Lounge, Ford’s Bar, Forget-Me-Not Inn, Fox and Hound, Foxes Den, Frenchies (Newburgh), Funky Monkey, Funky’s, Gaslight, Ginny’s Place, Gloria’s, Golden Record, Good Time Bobbies, Green Oasis, Hammerheads, Harpoles, Haymakers, Hobo Jungle, Hoosiers Lounge, House of Como, Icon, Joeys, Kramer’s Lake, King’s Tavern, Lameys, Lanhucks, Lawndale Lounge, Mad Bull, Main Street Exit, Maryland Street Lounge, Maxwell House, Mecca Bar, Monks, Neon’s, Old Kentucky, Oxygen, Pegs, Pete’s Supper Club, Petroleum Club, Quarter Note, Ramada Inn Airport, Rascals, Red Barron (Old Holiday Inn), Red Fox (Chandler), Red Garter, Ri Ra’s, Rustic Inn, Scandals, Scorpios, Shenanigans, Side Track, Silver Dollar, Sky’s Billiards, Smokehouse, St. Joe Tavern, Stage Door, Stoney’s, Strutters, Stucco House, Super Inn, The Coachman, The Dungeon, The Lamplight, The New Yorker, The Omni, The Piranha, The Pub, The Razz, The Ross (After the theatre closed), The Village Saloon, The Wheel, Third Base, Three Coins, Time Out Lounge (Downtown), Tinkers, Towerlite, Trocadero (Henderson), Turf Bar, Victory, Wayside Inn, Wizards, Woody’s and Zulu Saloon.
No doubt, many of these venues brought to mind a lot of fun times and maybe even made you smile a little. All of these places shared one common denominator….LIVE MUSIC!
I hadn’t really thought a lot about this until a few weeks ago. Hubs and I were out to dinner with friends and as dinner was winding down, I said, “Let’s all go listen to a band somewhere and maybe even dance?” Where could we go? Of course, we all pulled out our trusty smart phones and contacted our good friend Google for “places offering live music in Evansville”.
I wish I could say that I was surprised by the search results; however, having been married to a musician for the past 33 years, I was very well aware of the decline of live music in the area. As I suspected, there were only a handful of places promoting live music. To make matters worse, the few bands that were playing were booked from out-of-town, not local musicians! How could this be? After-all, Evansville touts “Buy Local” as a mantra and “Support Small Businesses” as a theme; therefore, I guess the thought process, with regard to live music and local musicians, is that they’re good enough to hire here and there on a weeknight, but apparently not respected enough to hire on a busy Friday or Saturday night.
So with heavy sighs, we left the restaurant and headed to our respective homes to turn on the TV and call it a night.
I couldn’t quit thinking about it. What happened to live music in this town? What changed? After-all, it wasn’t that long ago that you could find a venue in town where a band was playing your favorite genre. Whether you loved country, rock, oldies, blues, jazz or even a mix, live music was alive and well in Evansville. Live music was once part of our culture, a big city mindset encapsulated within a hometown environment.
The music business (even locally) can be a cutthroat industry. It’s difficult for musicians to speak their mind because their very livelihood depends on it. When my husband retired from playing this year, I knew that the window of opportunity had opened and it was the right time for me to try to be the voice that sounded the clanging cymbal (pardon the pun), and possibly shed some light on the problems, expose some of the corruption and maybe offer some tips on how venues and local musicians could work together to bring about change.
The music business is competitive, the pay is lousy and making a living as a musician is tough anywhere, but in Evansville, it’s next to impossible. When I had the idea to blog about this topic, my goal was to simply to explore why Evansville was once a thriving, booming area for live music and today, appears to be dying a slow death. I really thought this would be an easy blog to write because I knew where to place blame….or so I thought.
In an effort to understand the present, you must research the past, explore the results from every angle and find the truth. What I discovered is that the struggle is real for both venues and musicians.
Facts are facts and many factors have contributed to the decline:
Is there hope for live music to be revived, appreciated and dare we ask, even thrive once more in Evansville? I am an eternal optimist and I believe it can; however, it will take dedicated and intentional effort from venues, musicians and the community. Yes, the community. Unless the community as a whole determines to value and support live music, nothing will change for the better.
I have spoken with musicians and venues, as well as, researching the live music decline in general. Maybe musicians and venues alike have become complacent and used to things being “the way it is”.
Here are some ideas that may help change the focus, redirect and be a catalyst for change:
This is not a blog of gloom and doom, but hopefully an article of awareness and encouragement. Evansville could become known, once again, as a thriving arts community. It’s a proven fact that a thriving arts community helps create a thriving economic community. (Businesses want to move into thriving areas because they want to be part of the growth, not the sole support of it)
Evansville already has a lot going for it with a professional orchestra and a great music education program in our schools, but they too need funding to sustain it. Just imagine, with dedicated and intentional efforts from venues, musicians and the community, Evansville’s music scene, and the arts in general, could grow easily, we just need to make it happen!
What? You have never heard the story of the Bread Family Christmas? Oh my, then it’s time to grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and listen close while I share with you one of the most delicious stories never told.
Our little story began a very long time ago. Although very little is known about the origin of the Bread family, their ancestry can be traced all the way back to the days of Moses and the leavened lineage of the Manna’s.
Christmas Eve, 1970, the wind was howling, snow was falling and it was a very, very cold. Hustle and bustle was the theme as Corn & ginger bread were busily preparing for the annual Bread Family Christmas celebration. Their holiday guests would soon arrive, and as always, there was too much to do and not enough time to get it done.
The Bread’s were blessed with six little muffins, each one embracing unique, individual personalities:
For the little muffins, excitement was in the air. they were anxiously awaiting the arrival of well… you know who?
However, the year had been tough for Corn Bread and he didn't share the same enthusiasm. Corn Bread was stressed and worried because the troubled economy was taking a toll and making raisin six little muffins difficult. Day after day, Cornbread would roll to the factory because HIS FAMILY kneaded the dough. Suffice it to say that times were tough for the bread family. They were cutting back and tightening their belts (or at least trying too).
Nevertheless, this time of year was for celebrating and Breads have been and always will be resilient. Corn Bread knew that this too, shall pass.
Now through it all, Ginger Bread never seemed overly concerned. She went about her sweet way, smiling through the worst of times.
Inside the little canister they called a house, Ginger Bread always made everyone feel a little bit better. She could always transform a bad day into a good one.
Ginger made sure that the little muffins got a quick nap earlier that day, so they would be wide awake for the evening festivities. After a couple of hours, Ginger sang, “rise and shine”. Waking up was a little difficult for the little muffins as they seemed to be stuck in the warmth of their surroundings, but WITH a little bit of careful nudging, they were ready to greet everyone.
Time was passing fast and soon their company would be arriving, including the "In-Loaves". The “in loaves” added to Corn Bread's stress. Their rye sense of humor was never received well, and most of the time they ended up behaving like heels.
As customary, Breads from all over the country would soon be arriving from yeast to west and everywhere in-between.
Aunt Éclair traveled all the way from France and Cousin Pita from Greece; ironically they were the first to arrive. Uncle Crumpet wasn't far behind. Uncle Crumpet always made Ginger Bread a little nervous because sometimes he would arrive a little half baked.
All worries disappeared once everyone arrived and Corn and Ginger’s house was filled with love as they all gathered around the oven anticipating the event of the year.
Anticipation was rising as the clock ticked ever so slowly. You might even say that the little muffins were almost crumbling with excitement!
When suddenly.......a loud POP was heard outside the little house. The Bread's grew silent; they knew it was time!
The moment they had been waiting for....... There he was, easily identifiable by his characteristic hat, shirt and no pants ensem.
Yes, it was the famous Dough Boy himself, delivering goodies, fresh from the oven. His Giggles were endless, while he finished his work, yet he spoke not a word, then grinned with a smirk.
Soon out the door, on to the next oven, to bring happiness to other bread muffins.
but they heard him exclaim as he soared out of sight
....Happy Baking to all and to all a good night!
Can you believe it, Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away! Family and friends will soon gather to share stories, reminisce about "the good 'ol days" and, of course, feast.
Before the dishes are done and leftovers put away, thoughts of Black Friday intrude on the days festivities. It's time to scour through the ads, double check door buster times and make out the list. With the popularity of online shopping, the dynamics have changed. No doubt about it, online shopping has made Black Friday shopping easier, cost effective and certainly much healthier with less pushing, shoving and out right fighting.
Before the days of online shopping, my Black Friday shopping skills were birthed and honed during the late 80's and early 90' when my children were young and their wants were not.
"Mom, it's the ONLY thing I want for Christmas!"
This seasonal mantra typically began shortly after Halloween and continued through Christmas Eve. The "more than anything", die-hard requests always seemed to be attached to the most elusive, hard to find toy of choice on the market. To this day, I can still recall the echo of desperation in the tiny voices of my children.
I dreaded and despised the non-stop, commercial driven antics of the toy industry. Hot item lists and anticipated shortages plagued my very existence. How could I let my kids down? There could be no exceptions or mishaps, Santa HAD to deliver! Mindful of my limited budget and armed with determination, Black Friday became my ultimate challenge. Let's just say that my perceived mom badge was at stake and I had to emerge victorious.
Admittedly, my first Black Friday escapade was a colossal failure. As a newbie, I learned very quickly that Black Friday shopping was not an exercise for the amateur or an adventure for the fainthearted. Black Friday shopping success depended upon strategy, expertise and a fierce desire to beat the competition. I knew I had to train and be in shopping shape for the next year and thus my Black Friday tradition began.
As soon as Thanksgiving festivities would end, my Mad Woman on a Mission personality would surface. As a Black Friday shopping guru, my strategy began by gathering sale ads, mapping out Early Bird Specials/Door Busters, making a detailed list of which sales were at what stores, set out my clothes and went to bed early.
The specials were very limited and I had to be first or second in line if I were to have a chance at getting the "must have", "hard to get" item. This meant that I would be in line somewhere between 12 and 1 a.m.
Thinking back, I have to laugh remembering how easy it was to distinguish between Black Friday professionals and first timers. First timers just didn't seem to understand the consequences of drinking too much coffee or the hassle of returning lawn chairs to the car. Suffice it to say, depending on the crowd, getting out of line wasn't always respected.
First time, Black Friday shoppers would show up unprepared and would experience a Black Friday boot camp of sorts. It is impossible to accurately describe the brutality that could sometimes accompany Black Friday shopping. Once the doors opened, rules disappeared and shoppers that, just moments earlier, appeared to be jolly and friendly, mysteriously transformed into raging mobs brandishing fisticuffs, pushing and showing displays of ruthless hostility.
Over the years, I became very skilled at Black Friday shopping and my BFF and I incorporated team shopping into our ritual. Team shopping made it even easier to secure more of our "must get items".
Those days are in the past. The era of Cabbage Patch Dolls, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Tickle Me Elmo, Power Puff Girls, Nintendo, PlayStation, Fur Real Cat, and Furbie are gone, but the memories remain. Black Friday shopping became a quest I conquered and now, for me, it's over!
Like I stated earlier, times have changed. I still love Black Friday shopping, but now-a-days, I enjoy it more from the comfort of my computer.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not saying that I will never again (never say never) suit up to tackle the crowds and experience the rush of adrenaline while zigging and zagging my way through the frenzy of sale chaos. It is impossible for me to know whether or not nostalgia will once again release my Mad Woman on a Mission personality; however, one thing is certain....should that day arrive, I highly suggest that you move on or move over!
The holiday season is upon us and for me, it is a time of Faith, Hope, Love and Expectation!
Thanksgiving isn't just a time to gather with family, eat a year's worth of meals at one sitting, laugh about the past and make plans for the future. Thanksgiving isn't a one day holiday for me, it is a way of life. Now don't get me wrong, life isn't perfect by a long stretch. We have had and continue to have many struggles; however, I strive to live with a heart of thankfulness.
Each Christmas, I reflect and count my blessings rather than focus on the worries of life. I make a concentrated effort to slow down and take time to appreciate the season. I love watching the flickering lights of a Christmas tree, listening to music and resurrecting fond memories of the past. I eagerly anticipate the silence that accompanies the first snowfall of the season and I love witnessing nature's beauty. I am fascinated by the intricate design of each individual snowflake and mesmerized by the falling snow as it cascades through the glare of a street light.
Faith, hope, love and expectation becomes reality when a crisis strikes at the heart of your family. You quickly recognize what is important and what is not! Miracles do still happen and my daughter is living, seeing proof.
June 1995, my daughter’s vision was attacked by a rare virus that clouded the cornea and resulted in blindness. Barely, three years old, she was referred to Washington University Children’s Hospital in St. Louis, MO. After examination, we were told that the only chance to save her vision in her right eye would be a cornea transplant and because of the strain to her left eye, our hope was that she would be able to tell a cat from a dog.
Of course, I had heard about organ and tissue donation, but never dreamed I would learn so much so fast. August 24, 1996, a donor was found. Her donor was only 18 years old. He and his family demonstrated the ultimate act of love. This young hero gave everything he had to someone he had never met to give others a chance at life or an enhanced life. How can one ever adequately say thank you for such a sacrifice? It's impossible!
As a mom, I was devastated to learn that my daughter would have to endure this. Yet, in the midst of heartbreak and trial, I quickly learned how fortunate we were. Our daughter’s transplant was not considered life endangering as were some of the transplants other children were receiving that day. As several other anxious parents filled the waiting area for news about their little ones, the effects of stress were evident.
The wait seemed like an eternity and thankfully everything went great; however, I was not prepared to see my baby girl in recovery. There she was, so tiny, so fragile, her eye covered with a patch and her arms placed inside braces to prevent her from touching her eye. In addition, IV’s, monitors and other equipment was hooked up to her. We recognized that the long road to recovery was about to begin.
Looking back, a lot of things about that time seem to be blurred; that said, I do know that my prayers were answered. Her vision was 20/40. My baby girl could see! As a child, she would play, loved music, read books and fought with her big brother. She has surpassed all expectations. A typical cornea transplant last approximately 5-8 years, my daughter is celebrating her 23rd year as a recipient. She received her bachelor's degree in Music Performance (flute) from the University of Evansville, her Master's in Music Performance (flute) from the University of Louisville and is currently enrolled in Doctorate studies for Music Performance (flute) at the University of Kentucky. Upon graduation, she hopes to be a Professor of Flute and, of course, play in a big orchestra.
She and I travel as a duo to speak about organ and tissue donation. Well, I speak and she plays. (She's not big on public speaking.) We have shared her story at conferences, banquets, donor events and various non-profit organizations, particularly many chapters of the Lion's Club. (They do so much for vision.)
As you can tell, my passion for organ and tissue donation is strong and personal. This Christmas, consider becoming an organ and tissue donor. It won't cost you anything to give the gift of a miracle.
I am beyond excited to be traveling to Virginia to visit my son and daughter-in-love! This will be our first trip to Virginia and I cannot wait to see my kiddos, tour the area and also check out Washington D.C. That said, I have to admit, I am a tad bit anxious about our travel. Our road trip will be approximately an 11 hour road trip (longer, since we will have to have stops)...ouch! Let me explain, I love, love, love to travel and yes, I love, love, love my hubs...well, most of the time; however, we do not make great traveling companions.
Just thinking about spending that much time in an automobile together makes me glad that I have a prescription for anxiety. I am a firm believer that most divorces could be avoided if couples traveled separately to their destinations and designated a meeting point.
They say opposites attract and they do; 32 years of marriage proves that theory. However, opposites do not travel well together as our differences are quite prominent when on the road. Here are a few examples, maybe you can relate?
When it comes to finances, I am conservative and he is a spendthrift. There is just something about a road trip that makes him believe he is Diamond Jim Brady.
Our drivings styles are totally different. I have yet to understand the reasoning of being in the wrong lane "until you get closer" mindset. Of course, when the exit is .05 miles on the right, we are always in the far left lane and wa-la, the fussing begins because the traffic won't let him merge. On the flip side of the coin, my continuous "I told you 20 minutes ago to get over", doesn't quite seem to help.
Hub's loves to pass, but thinks you should pass at the speed limit (which may be the legal way, but nevertheless); me, I prefer to pass fast and be done with it. Hanging out side by side with a semi is just not my cup-o-tea. He tends to cut the passing thing a little to close for my comfort and he seems to get exasperated with my outbursts of "WATCH IT, THERE'S A CAR COMING UP!" He proceeds to yell, "STOP IT! DON'T DO THAT!"
Music is another hot button. A musician hears the instruments and a writer hears the words. He likes to listen to rock tunes from the 80's and 90's and I like country. As a side note, he doesn't quite understand my ability to know all of the words and sing along, and yes, I know I can't sing, but I like to do it anyway. I prefer listening to the radio and I scan and scan which drives him to the point of saying, "just pick a station and stick with it." He prefers to play downloaded music from his phone, knowing that I can't sing to instrumentals.
Sometimes we do not have music playing and we will talk. The problem with this is that it usually revolves about work and that is not productive.
I will try and blog and/or vlog along the way. Sure hope we're on speaking terms when we arrive....and more importantly when we return home!
Sounds of youthful yelling, laughing and running around the neighborhood have ceased, traffic is buzzing and social media is eerily silent during the day. This can only mean one thing …. a new school year is in session!
Social media popularity has taken First Day of School photo rituals to a whole new level. Viewing all of the pictures, I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic reminiscing about my own kids’ and their “first day of school moments”.
Sitting here at my computer (yes, a real computer, not a phone), thousands of memories flood my mind and appear as a time warp of sorts, somewhere between yesterday and eternity.
Some of the things I miss:
And yes, there things I do NOT miss:
As a card carrying member of the Empty Nest Club, I want to remind young parents of a few things:
Save and/or print your photos. In the event your favorite social media site disappears, a computer virus wipes your files or your handy dandy smart phone dies, your photos, along with your memories, will be gone...FOREVER!
Last but not least, always use caution when posting pictures on any social media site! Social media is a great way to share your photos, but it isn't private!
Wishing all of you and your children a safe, happy and productive Back to School day!
Labor Day, for the expectant mom, is the truest definition of hard labor
Family planning is particularly popular among many young couples intent on making their mark on the world, starting careers and having their proverbial baby ducks in a row BEFORE starting a family; however, whether “trying” or proclaiming “whoops”, recognize it's the same boat, so sit back and hang on tight because the next nine months will be a bit bumpy. You heard me, lift your head from your porcelain paradise!
Initially, the giddy excitement of knowing that you are the vessel that carries another life is overwhelming. The desire to learn everything about this nine-month journey is exceptionally strong, and soon-to-be moms endeavor to read every book and article written about this expedition. Detailed explanations are sought about mood swings, delivery and everything in-between.
Excitement abounds for first time, soon to be moms; not-so-much for moms who are expecting their second, or third bundle of joy.
As a new mom, I was totally unprepared for the responsibility I was about to accept. In retrospect, I am certain I would have benefited from a guideline to follow; thus the reason for the following list.
Daily if possible! For the next four to seven years, it will be necessary to tote a bag full of items everywhere you go. This bag will contain a variety of items (bottles, pacifiers, diapers, baby oil, baby lotion, wet wipes, toys, coloring books, rattles, baby nose aspirator and so on) based on the child’s age. Also keep in mind that it will be a long time before you will be able to enjoy a dinner out without saying the following statements:
Never set an alarm clock. This will be the last time you get to sleep all night for……well, I’m not sure, I’m still waiting.
Not necessary, might as well let it go. It’s time to begin getting used to your new motif anyway.
Seriously….get over it. Living in your new baby world, you will soon discover that romance is not even listed in the top ten as “I Love You is quickly replaced by “Hey, You Awake?
WHILE WAITING FOR LABOR DAY
LABOR DAY ARRIVES
It will seem like an eternity awaiting the arrival of your bundle of joy. Soon you'll attend birthing classes that will make labor sound bearable. (It's a lie!) The phrase, “you will feel discomfort” had to have been written by a man. Discomfort, DISCOMFORT; try anguish, torment, agony or torture, but DISCOMFORT my #?#@#!
Natural childbirth is popular until experienced. Think about it, were you using natural birth control (if so, how'd that work out for you?) My advice, for what it's worth, is to begin asking for drugs before you really even need them to ensure that you avoid being told, “I’m sorry, it’s too late.”
Last but not least, recognize that your spouse has absolutely no clue what to do, what is happening or what to say. He will make totally insensitive comments, so brace yourself.
Hubby: Do you want to watch TV to take your mind off things?
Me: Do you want to retain the shape of a TV?
Hubby: Just breathe.
Me: Great advice Einstein, the one thing I didn’t have to think about.
Me: I am focusing, on the PAIN!
Hubby: It’s almost over.
Me: Yea, right, that’s what you said 6 hours ago!
Hubby: I love you.
Me: Yea, yea, like that’ll ever work again.
Hubby: I see the head.
Me: Well, Hot Diggity Dog
Me: You’ll think push when I push you out of this fourth floor window
Hubby: The doctor is on his way
Me: Here or does he have another golf game?
Hubby: Do you want some crushed ice?
Me: Yea, stick a block under my fist and I’ll crush it!
When everything is said and done, you will have experienced the ultimate human achievement and will take home with you a beautiful, dependent little life that has absolutely no regard for your fatigue, hunger or emotional state. Ironically, if you are a successful parent, this beautiful, dependent little life will grow into a teenager that has absolutely no regard for your fatigue, hunger or emotional state.
Happy Labor Day!
There are moments in time when a single, ordinary comment can send a person into a complete tailspin and this was one of those days!
It was just an ordinary day, just an ordinary comment and just one little word that changed my perspective. At the time, my children were very young and I was employed part-time.
Although I don't remember where I was, at the time, I do remember the question and my respone that day. My response forced me to step back and take a second look at how I viewed myself.
So...what do you do?
I’m just a mom.
Later that day, that single phrase hit me like a ton of bricks! Just a Mom! JUST a Mom! What was the matter with me? Did I really say that! Yes, I work part-time and I AM a Mom; a BUSY Mom; a TIRED Mom, and often a FRUSTRATED Mom, but JUST a Mom?
Where did that come from? I mean really, is someone JUST a Doctor, JUST a Lawyer, JUST a Nuclear Scientist? Oh, well, I digress. Why on earth would I use the word JUST to describe my career, my destiny...my life?
When one accepts the role of Mom, it is the most important job in the world; therefore, how dare I, or anyone else, demean the status of such a vital position? A Mom’s day begins before anyone else awakes and ends long after everyone else has retired for the evening.
A Mom’s responsibilities are endless. Breakfasts must be prepared (even cereal, after-all, someone has to get the bowls out and pour the milk), pack lunches, do the laundry (every day), ensure the kids leave the house “appropriately” dressed for school, teeth are brushed (can’t assume), hair is combed and see that the kiddos arrive at daycare, school or the bus...on time!
Then it's time for the mom, who is employed outside of the home, to hurry and get ready for work, hoping her shoes match (who among us hasn’t arrived with two different shoes of similar styles) and double checking the seams on clothing (you know you have worn that blouse inside out before). For the Mom who is not employed outside of the home, the routine of household responsibilities must be tackled.
Whether employed outside of the home or not, Mom inevitably has to pick up dirty clothes that have been left wherever they were removed as children and some spouses have difficulty seeing things on the floor. They look at it, walk over it, around it or even through it, but will never pick it up.
Meals, whether baked, fried, crock-potted or micro-waved must be prepared, dishes have to be washed or loaded into the dishwasher, carpets require vacuuming, linoleum demands to be swept and pre-fabricated furniture will not dust itself.
Multi-tasking is a must when juggling homework, after-school activities, ball games and band practice. A Mom may not be a doctor in real life, but definitely plays one at home. A Mom’s responsibilities never end from doctor appointments and picking up a sick child at school to dropping off forgotten homework and paying household bills. Oh let us not forget the responsibility of ensuring that the last roll of toilet paper or all of the shampoo has not been used.
There is JUST one simple moral to this story; a Mom works full-time, regardless of "employment" status from a world view. As a Mom, you are never JUST a Mom! A Moms work is hard, heartbreaking at times and the pay is lousy. Being a Mom encompasses many things, it’s just that JUST, ain’t got nothin’ to do with it!
Originally posted June 2016
Life, or at least my life, seems to combine a very strange mix of humor, sarcasm and irony. When life would hurl obstacles my way, I much preferred to duck and hide my head under a makeshift cover, rather than confront it.
Although life has thrown me more curveballs than I care to count; there are no do-overs and you can only go around this world one time! Therefore, while I may not have any control over present circumstances, I do have control about how I choose to navigate around them.
At 50, my life is changing and changing fast! Giving up the business I loved and developed from start to finish is hard, very hard. For the last six years, I have put my entire life on hold. Endless hours, exhaustion, stress and financial strain combined with constant work and worry about ensuring that I provided the best work I could produce for my clients and the community have taken it's toll and yes, opened my eyes.
During this journey, I made many, many great friends that I will always treasure, and sadly yes, I did make a few enemies or shall we say frienemys. Either way, rest assured, what goes around comes around and I am confident that eventually they will meet my pal, Karma. You see, Karma has my back and I have no doubt there will be some future fun things to write about on that front.
First on the list-Employment
Employment, now there's a concept. Before undertaking the challenge of starting my own business, I never appreciated working for someone else. Now my mind swirls with the reality of so many simple pleasures:
Well, you get the picture. I've been asked, "Why does this excite you so much?" It really is quite simple, self employment means doing without many of the basic things most people take for granted. Groceries, clothes shopping, and yes, even splurging on a new package of underwear on occasion. "Did Mama really go there?" Yes, I did.
Second - My New Do
I have always preferred to be in the background rather than right out in front. The only exception to this would be when I am in a public speaking arena and as long as I can stand/hide behind a podium, I am happy. Rarely do I post pictures of myself and I have never been a fan of the selfie world. The part of me that tends to worry about mean comments or derogatory remarks must now fade into the background.
My new adventure shouted that a new do was in order, and so be it! I am nothing, if not flexible. With a new bold color and hair extensions, I questioned, "What am I doing, everyone will believe that I am going through a mid-life crisis?" So what, who cares what anyone thinks? Bring on the new do...It's time!
Third - New Me
When I say New Me, I guess what I'm really saying is Real Me! That's it in a nutshell, it is what this blog is about. Life, real life. The roads I've traveled are not uncommon; most of us have traveled similar roads. For those who haven't, well...as we say in the mid-west, "Bless your little pea-picken heart".
The world we live in today is rough, the political climate is ridiculous and our compassion for fellow human beings has diminished into a free for all.
I am a firm believer that laughter can lighten even the heaviest load and since life itself provides the perfect stage for a whole host of humorous adventures, I eagerly take one giant step forward and refuse to look back. I am Mama Tatuley and, for those who may not have met the Real Me, brace yourself; I plan to tell it like it is. So, sit back, relax and we'll journey together.